My live in boyfriend of 4 yrs and I came home from a night of hanging out at about 12.15am. There was already some tension between us from an unresolved matter three days prior. I went to shower and as I came out of the shower at about 12.30am I heard his voice as if he was talking on his phone. My first reaction was to make a sound so he would know that I’m out. I heard him saying what sounded like she just came out of the shower I’ll call you back. I immediately asked him who was he speaking with and why was he saying that to that person. He pretended as if he didn’t understand what I was saying and then said I heard wrong. He claimed he said he was going into the shower and would call back, meanwhile still not disclosing to whom he was speaking. He went to shower and when he was done and came to bed, I asked for the 4th time and he finally said it was his cousin. When I confronted him as to what was so important about the call at that hour and more importantly why did he hesitated in saying it was his cousin if it really was, he said his response was delayed because he was taken aback that I would ask him that. I found his behaviour and his response very questionable. I explained to him that I didn’t believe him and told him the reasons why. I added that my trust in him had already been compromised because I had to address him previously about texting at what I considered to be inappropriate hours. I told him the only way I would believe him is if he can prove to me that it was his cousin and that would be by showing me his phone. He refused and said he didn’t want to start a precedent of demanding each other’s phones and that I should trust what he’s telling me.
I felt he wanted to be wrong and strong. I felt that he owed me that at least to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about. I totally trusted him before the excessive texting had started and I feel that this incident had compromised our trust even further. I am even more so dissapointed because I feel he has chosen to take a firm position on this even though its affecting our relationship, and somehow is directing the blame at me for putting the strain on our relationship for not letting it go.
This is a burden that I carry around with me everyday and I now becoming emotionally unattached to him and the relationship because I can’t get over it and his overall reaction to this.
Am I overreacting?
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